30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge for Wives: Day 5

Day Five:"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Eph. 4:29

Another way to describe the positive side of this "30-Day Encouragement Challenge" is by using the word "edify," which means, "to build up." Negative comments only discourage and tear down. Positive comments encourage and build.

Do you edify your husband before others, adding to his value in their eyes? This is especially important to other family members.

Do you praise your husband to his relatives, and yours? Does your husband's mother know how much you love him? How about your dad? Perhaps you can drop a word of praise into a conversation or letter. Be creative in letting your relatives know that you respect your husband, love him, and support him - in spite of whatever flaws and weaknesses he may have.

This was a great day to read today, after getting back from my trip to New York. It was hard for me and for Jonah to be away from his daddy for 6 days, but I enjoyed edifying my husband to my mother. I need to edify him more to his mother and to my dad though.

Greg was SO wonderful that he drove 1500 miles to pick us up. My mom and I had to drive through the snow storm a couple weeks ago, to get to her house in Bloomingburg, NY. It was hard on Jonah, but especially hard on us who had to stay alert and awake while driving. Jonah soon adapted to the new house, but didn't sleep through the night any night. He always woke up for whatever reason and wanted to nurse. Maybe because his play pen was in guest room where I was sleeping, and when he woke in the middle of the night, he smelled that his mommy was near and wanted me to comfort him.



We were planning to meet Greg halfway new Youngstown, OH last Sunday, but I just didn't see that plan working out. Since he's one man driving alone, he'll get there much faster than two women and a 9 month old who need to stop frequently for restroom and food breaks. So, after exhausting all the possibilities we could think of, Greg decided that he'd drive to NY on Saturday, possibly stay one night in my mom's house, and drive back to Indiana on Sunday, so he could return to work on Monday. We actually ended up driving 3 more hours back toward Indiana on Saturday night, and started out our trip with Jonah sleeping. That worked out well. However, as soon as we were in the hotel, Jonah was back to clinging to mommy and not sleeping. I must have nursed him three times that night (from 1 am until 7:30 am) and Greg ended up sleeping in the other bed (the one we made up for Jonah).

Thankfully, we got home on Sunday evening about 5:30 pm. Greg made great time on the road and our only delay was on I-70 when the highway was blocked in both directions because a plane, something like a Cessna, was trying to take off from the interstate. We knew it would be on the news, and it was. I didn't hear the whole story, but it took off from Eagle Creek and "ran out of options" so it landed on the highway. I wonder what the drivers of the vehicles thought when they were driving along and suddenly they saw an airplane land on the road in front of them. We got to see two helicopters circling about 3 miles ahead of us and finally the plane took off. Didn't get any photos, but we'll remember this one.

So we made great time and when we got home, I was SO thankful for my loving husband who drove all the way to New York for 1500 miles to bring Jonah and me home safely. We're still recovering from the travel and lack of sleep, and Jonah's back to sleeping through the night.

Edifying others and building each other up-- that's what I need to do more often. Not let any unwholesome talk come out of my mouth. That was the verse I kept thinking about when I was away from home and when it was easy to complain when I was sleep deprived. That verse, and Do everything without complaining or disputing. I know Jonah watches everything I do, and my mother too, she noticed how we train Jonah and pray with him and how we teach him. He needed constistent training and he needed his daddy too. I think he wondered why we only talked to Daddy on the phone, because he'd wake up every morning saying, "dadadada." So we'd call Daddy and say good morning. It's interesting, because he says "mamahh" to Greg all the time and to me when he's hungry, but it seems like what I hear all day long is "dadadada" or "bababababa" among other babblings. He's our precious boy and we're delighted to have him as our son.

30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge for Wives‏: Day 4

Today's challenge is a great one for me. I need to remember how hard my husband works to provide for our family, because it is created in is core to be the provider. This challenge to not speak negatively to or about or to others about our husbands is a good one. I realize when I start to say something that could become negative, it's not edifying and not productive, and it becomes complaining. Philippians 2:14 says, "Do everything without complaining or arguing..." If I'm teaching my son this verse, I better learn it and practice it first!

He may be only 9 months old, but he notices everything and learns from what I do and how my husband and I talk with each other, interact, love each other. It's so vital that I am kind and respectful and admirable of my husband so that my children learn to do so as well. Even when my husband loves me and honors me and protects me, Jonah's learning to do that too. God gave us such a wonderful design in His Word. We have to keep looking there for the instruction and for the guidance and direction we ask for.

May our husbands feel encouraged by our words.

Day Four:"...let him labor, working with his hands what is good..." Eph. 4:28

We are all accountable for the things we say, both negative and positive words. Have you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband and to others about him? Here's a suggestion that touches the core of your husband's world.

Some women take their husband's career for granted, and they show it in many ways. Do you "dump" on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen and encourage him with your words? A wise wife will make her husband feel that she values and appreciates his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others.

If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you'll need to be more creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part of a successful career - such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, good with people, good listener, determination, etc.

30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge for Wives: Day 3

Happy Valentine's Day!

My mom drove in from New York today to visit us and babysit Jonah so Greg and I can have a date on Valentine's Day. I miss my mom SO much, since I didn't get to see her at Christmas. I'm so glad that she's here. Jonah and I are going to drive to New York with my mom next week and we'll be back the following weekend. We'll miss Daddy, but he's going to meet us halfway for the trip back.

How appropriate that today's challenge is about loving our husbands and letting them love us.
Hope you have a wonderful day in Christ's love.

Day Three:"...love suffers long, and is kind..." 1 Cor. 13:4

"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus."
Phil. 4:19

Love indeed suffers long and is kind. As you consider your Encouragement Challenge, determine today that you will not say anything negative to or about your husband. Speak kindly to him with words of genuine encouragement.

If your husband is considerate of your needs, let him know that you have noticed. Thank him for his kindness and consideration. Thank the Lord that your husband knows how to be both tough and tender.

Sometimes it's difficult for a man to be gentle, kind or tender - especially if he hasn't had role models in these areas. If he's not a considerate person, appeal to him for help without complaining. Let him know that it's hard for you to handle some things alone. Then, when he moves in to help, don't insist that he do it your way. Be glad that he is responding, and express your gratitude.

Ultimately, you can't expect your husband to make you feel more secure, loved, etc. Remember that only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart.

30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge for Wives: Day 2

Eventhough I'm already behind schedule for this 30 day challenge, I wanted to post it as I'm able to read it. I'm not online everyday, so when I am, I'll post that day's challenge. I have to admit that I already broke the goal of not saying anything negative to my husband, today. I just lost my temper when we were running late to a party, and got short with him. But I do remember the encouragement, that my friend told me in her e-mail, "you don't have to be perfect," so I'm going on that note and getting right back on track again. I try to apologize for my mistakes and add some encouraging words. Maybe I'll get used to the positives and hold my tongue before the negatives come out. It has been better for my heart to take those thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). It's a daily lesson and a daily reminder, but I'm determined to do it!

Here goes for day 2. It's late and the day is about over, so I'll sleep on this one and try to practice it tomorrow. We have a busy day with Jonah's 9 month pictures after church and it's supposed to be subzero wind chill tomorrow, so we'll just have to bundle everyone up. This one will be a challenge for me, because when it's cold, I tend to complain. So I'll have to work really hard to be positive!

Day Two:"...through love serve one another." Gal. 5:13b
How did you do yesterday with your first day of blessing and encouraging your husband? Was it easy? Was it hard to hold your tongue when you wanted to say something negative? We hope you're off to a good start. (If you blew it, don't give up - start again today!) There are so many practical things you can praise, if you look for them.

Today, find some way that your husband is serving you or your family. Does he help around the house? Take care of the car? Fix things that are broken? If your budget allows, give him a new, small tool with a big bow attached. But make sure he doesn't think it's part of a "Honey Do" list!

Maybe your husband's not a handyman, but does he run errands for you? Let you go first? Take care of you when you are sick? Help you make decisions? Praise him for his willingness to serve others. Let him know that you see his unique service as a great strength.

30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge for Wives: Day 1

A friend of mine e-mailed me this 30-day challenge for wives to encourage their husbands on January 1st, 2008. Since January was such a rough month in the Bayman household, I wasn't able to participate. Now that I'm able to read my messages, I asked her if she could send it all to me at once, and she did. So I'm going to try to post one each day for 30 days to remind myself and encourage anyone else who's reading this blog to be a blessing in their home as well.

How appropriate for reading day 1 today, since yesterday, I wasn't particularly encouraging to my husband. Who more should we encourage than the man we love who takes care of us and leads our home and provides for our family? Well, here it is, and I will try to remember day 1 for the rest of my days!

Day One:
"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Prov. 31:11-12

To refresh your memory...here's the 30-Day Encouragement Challenge...for the next 30 days:* You can't say anything negative about your husband ...to your husband...or to anyone else, about your husband.* Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband...and to someone else, about your husband!

To help you get started, have you ever thanked your husband for "choosing you" above all other women? He found you attractive as a person, and appreciated you. Though many circumstances in your marriage may have changed, let your husband know that you are glad God led you together, and that you want to be a blessing to him for the rest of your marriage. Let him know that he can trust you to be in his corner.

One of the best opportunities to express your gratitude is first thing in the morning. How do you greet your husband each morning? Is he confident in your love? Give him a "wake up call" that he'll never forget-a big "I love you" and an "I'm so glad I'm your wife!"

Encouraging Words

Oh, how grateful I am for the women in my Bible study. Their words, prayers and advice are so encouraging to me. This spring, I'm in a weekly Bible study at our church called, The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. Praying with these women that I haven't met before and hearing their stories about rearing their children reminds me that I'm not alone, and I'm doing a good thing, staying home and raising my son.

Occaisionally, we receive handouts that are quotes, stories, reminders, or just fun things to read and laugh about. This week, one in particular spoke to my heart. Whenever I have doubts in my mind or if I'm questioning the idea of a career over personally raising my children, I want to remember God's design for mothers and His intent for the role in which He has placed me.

Continue On

A woman once fretted over the usefulness of her life.

She feared she was easting her potential being a devoted wife

and mother: She wondered if the time and energy she invested in

her husband and children would make a difference.

At times she got discouraged because so much of what she did

seemed to go unnoticed and unappreciated.

"Is it worth it?" she often wondered.

"Is there something better that I could be doing with my time?"

It was during one of these moments of questioning that she heard

the still small voice of her heavenly Father speak to her heart.

"You are a wife and mother because that

is what I have called you to be.

Much of what you do is hidden from the public eye. But I notice.

Most of what you give is done without remuneration.

But I am your reward.

Your husband cannot be the man I have called him to be without

your support. Your influence upon him is greater than you think

and more powerful than you will ever know. I bless him

through your service and honor him through your love.

Your children are precious to Me.

Even more precious than they are to you.

I have entrusted them to your care to raise for Me.

What you invest in them is an offering to Me.

You may never be in the public spotlight.

But your obedience shines as a bright light before Me. Continue on.

Remember you are my servant. Do all to please Me."

-by Roy Lessin

In a world where nothing is good enough, fast enough, expensive enough, easy enough, I want to drown out all that is unedifying and degrading to the example of a marriage, a family, and parenthood. I won't settle for leaving my children behind to fend for themselves and to be raised by the media and the evils in this world. I will stand by my husband and support him, encourage him, and help him by nurturing my family and taking care of the little ones that our heavenly Father has entrusted to us.

He never said it would be easy, but I know where I can find my strength.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

- Philippians 4:13

Feeling Better

Jonah at 8 months

It's nice to be online again. Poor Greg had bronchitis for 2 weeks before going to the dr. and I was trying to take care of him and keep Jonah away from the coughs so he wouldn't catch it. Well, I was getting fatigued taking care of husband, baby, and dog, (thankfully, I didn't get sick), that I had to ask Greg to take Jonah to the toilet once and to watch him for about an hour while I tried to rest.

We were doing so well with the handwashing (so much that my hands and Jonah's were getting dry) that Jonah wasn't sick. Well, after hanging out with Daddy, who was still very sick, Jonah caught what Greg had, 102.1 fever, coughs, sneezes, fatigue. Poor baby. This is his first fever of his life. I'd never felt him that hot before. I took him to the dr. the day I felt his fever (last Wed.), and they checked that it wasn't pneumonia and he had no ear infection. Thank goodness! Greg had bronchitis in college, and I had pneumonia when I was three years old, so I wanted to be sure that Jonah was checked out early. The dr. recommended a humidifier, rest, plenty of fluids, Tylenol for the fever, and a lot of love.

His fever was down in less than 24 hours (Thurs.), and we spent most of the day just cuddling. Poor Jonah was so limp, he couldn't even hold his body up. He just wanted me to hold him and comfort him in his pain and finally laid down in his crib for one nap in the afternoon. Greg went to work that day, and then to the medcheck that night. They ruled out the flu, prescribed some meds and told him not to go to work on Friday. Soon, he got his appetite back, and on Friday, Jonah was eating back to normal. He still has a bit of a cough, but I've been keeping him indoors when it's super cold out, like today.

We took it easy last weekend too, and only ventured out to get his new carseat. He was 21 lbs. at the dr. and I was sure he'd be 22 lbs. by next month. Well, I didn't want to wait any longer to get his car seat. He'd already been uncomfortable in his infant carrier, and I think he didn't like being in that slouched position and all buckled in. So I was glad he was doing better since I wanted to see the seat before buying it. We were going to get it online, but got a better deal at Babies' R Us with the 15% off coupon. We got a Britax Boulevard for the side impact protection, and Jonah LOVES it! He sleeps in it while driving and rests his head on the side wings. He's our precious cargo, and we want to protect him as much as we can.

We went swimming on Wed. while it was 52 degrees out. He was barely coughing the day before, so I thought we'd try it. We were both tired of being indoors all the time. He loves swimming at the Y, so we enjoyed the exercise. As soon as he started coughing, though, I said, it's time to get him out and back to rest. I didn't want him to overexhert himself. Maybe with subsequent children I won't be so cautious, but I don't like it when he's sick. I want to take care of him as best as I can. Afterall, he's our only son. :)