30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge for Wives‏: Day 9

Christ is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!

We are so blessed to have a Savior who would choose to die for the sins of the world. He has overcome death in victory and we celebrate his resurrection on this Easter day. Praise God that we have eternal life in Jesus if we ask Him to come into our hearts and personally forgive our sins past, present, and future. When we do that, we can live with God in heaven for eternity because Jesus paid the cost!

Day Nine:"...be swift to hear, slow to speak..." James 1:19b

We are often so busy speaking that we don't take time to listen. We are so quick to offer a comment - negative or positive - that we don't really "hear" our husband's heart. Remember: we have two ears and only one mouth. We need to listen more!

As you continue in your 30-day challenge, not speaking negatively and focusing on positive encouragement, hear the Lord's admonition today: "Be swift to hear."

If listening is a real problem for you, play a game with yourself. See if you can listen to your husband for one whole day, only speaking when asked a question. If your husband notices the difference, explain that you are learning to listen more-not only to God, but also to him.

One easy way to express admiration for your husband is to ask a question about something he enjoys, and then listen to his response. If it's an area of personal familiarity, keep asking questions until you learn something you didn't know, then tell him, "Wow, I didn't know that!"

This is a timely lesson for me. Wow, this challenge has met me right where I need it most each day I post. How's that for the Lord's leading?! I'll see if I can swallow my pride, and close my mouth more often and open my ears. My husband is such a good listener, I should learn from scripture and give my husband the courtesy he gives me.

30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge for Wives‏: Day 8

Day Eight: How are you doing with the "30-Day Encouragement Challenge"? In case you've forgotten, here's the challenge:

* You can't say anything negative about your husband ...to your husband...or to anyone else, about your husband.* Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband...and to someone else, about your husband!

"...but who can find a faithful man?" Prov. 20:6b

Faithfulness is a wonderful but rare quality today, especially in regard to marriage. Do you understand how important this quality is? Your challenge is to continue to root out all negative speaking, and plant seeds of encouragement instead. You may be amazed at what will grow.

Contemporary culture often entices men to be unfaithful to their wedding vows and spiritual commitments. Appreciate your husband's faithfulness - how he is loyal to you. Let him know that you are glad he has "stick-to-it-iveness" in your marriage. Appreciate his faithfulness to God. (If you have an unfaithful husband, this is a difficult area for you. Pray, speak the truth in love, remain faithful yourself, and discover ways to encourage faithfulness in your mate. The Bible says that husbands may "...be won by the conduct of their wives" [1 Pet. 3:1]. You may also want to seek counsel from a mature, godly individual or couple.)

Wow, what an answered prayer! How blessed I am to be married to such a wonderful man as my husband. He is so thoughtful that today, he stayed home doing taxes, so I could go shopping with Jonah. I'd been meaning to shop for a bathing suit (a Christmas present from Greg), and a dress and shoes for Easter (gifts from my mom), but have made several attempts and hadn't gotten into the dressing room to try these things on in weeks! So, after taking way too long to leave the house, leaving closer to Jonah's afternoon nap time, I was getting stressed that I won't even have time to shop for myself, so I should just go grocery shopping and forget about my clothes all together. Well, my wonderful, calm, patient, anchor-of-a-husband, helped me to calm down and just enjoy the time and not worry about Jonah's nap schedule, he needs to adapt.

Well, that was a great idea. But I tend to dottle, and by the time I got to the swimwear store (away from the mall, I thought I'd try out this store that my husband spotted and suggested I try), it was 3:05, and got Jonah in the stroller w/ diaper bag in hand and the store was closed...at 3:00 on Saturday. So I was discouraged, feeling like a failure when I try to accomplish so much and after running so many errands sometimes I feel like I didn't accomplish much of anything, but wasting gas and money since the prices are so high. So I drove toward the mall and realized that I needed to eat. I hadn't eaten enough today for the many times I had to nurse Jonah, so I stopped and got a steakburger. I really wanted a chocolate shake too, but I didn't think that would fare well in the dressing room trying on swimsuits and dresses. So I stuck to the essential nourishment. Then Jonah was so fussy, b/c we weren't going anywhere and he just had to get back in the car seat 3 min. after he thought he was going on an outing in his stroller. So I decided to take him back home so he could sleep in his crib for his nap, b/c he wasn't going to do well for me in the dressing rooms when he's already cranky and we haven't even gotten to the mall yet.

When I got home, my husband, who was doing taxes, was surprised to see me 30 min. later. So Jonah woke up from napping about 5 min. in the car and was not happy. When after putting him down, after trying to take him to the toilet and getting screams, and then in his crib, he almost turned purple from holding his breath from crying out of anger, I rocked him and he wanted to nurse again, 2 hours later! So I finally put him down for his nap, after taking him to the toilet. Poor guy, his schedule was all off. Greg came in and encouraged me, once again to go shopping and spend some time for myself. He said, "I'll stay home with the boy while he naps and I'll feed him a bottle when he wakes up, just go have a good time shopping." I was so thankful for my loving husband and for the time.

So, off to the mall I went. I was efficient, and had a great time, got a dress, shoes, bathing suit, and was going to head to Wal-Mart for some groceries. When I heard a message on the radio talking about "the crazy cycle...without love, she reacts without respect...without respect, he reacts without love...." and I realized how important it is for our husbands to hear how much we respect them, when we're probably telling them how much we love them, and they know it. They don't need to hear it several times a day, but we women need the reassurance of the love our husbands have for us. So I decided to get just bananas (we were out, and the other items on the list could wait until I go grocery shopping next week) at Kroger (on the way home), and come home. I called Greg 5 min. after telling him I was on my way to Wal-Mart and said, "don't make anything, I want to come home and make you a good dinner, because I love you so much for taking care of Jonah for me. I have this good fish I want to make you and veggies, so just let me come home and make it for you. I'm getting bananas and I'll be home soon." He said, "okay, I'll feed Jonah his dinner, but I'll wait for you."

When I got home, at 7:30, he and Jonah were at the table, he snacking on pretzels and cheese, and Jonah eating a great, Mommy-approved dinner. He rushed to the door to help me with my bags and I said, "Oh, thank you. Honey...I respect you." He smiled and said, "I love you." He said he got hungry, but he'd eat whatever I cooked for dinner. I rushed to put the Talapia in the oven and the broccoli and cheese and potatoes on the stove and decided to try on my new dress and do a fashion show for Greg and Jonah while the food was cooking. They loved the dress and shoes and as we were chatting and distracted, Jonah wanted me to stay there and not keep disappearing to the room to change, I realized that I didn't stir the broccoli and potatoes and they burned! I was so disappointed. I completely forgot to stir it after setting the timer for the fish. Greg was so encouraging and said, "Don't worry, Honey, I'll eat it. It's alright." The potatoes could be saved but the broccoli was definitely charred.

So I changed clothes fast and by then the fish was done and Jonah was fussing wondering where Mommy was. Greg took the fish out and calmed Jonah down, and when I came back in normal clothes, I noticed some perfect broccoli and cheese on the stove. He had made more for me while I changed. What a sweet guy! :)

My husband knows when I just can't handle it anymore and I need him to remind me that we're a team. I know God brought us into each other's lives to balance each other out and encourage one another. I need to remember to show him respect and love, by respecting his time, his hard work, his rest, his activities, his needs. I'm so grateful that I have a loving husband who wants to lead and love his wife, and Christ loves the church.

30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge for Wives: Day 7

Day Seven:"Do not overwork to be rich; because of your own understanding, cease!...for riches certainly make themselves wings..." Prov. 23:4-5
"That I may cause those who love me to inherit wealth, that I may fill their treasuries." Proverbs 8:21

Money is the root of much marital discord. Ask yourself, "Am I being negative toward my husband in the area of finances?" Determine not to speak evil of your husband in this area. Discover ways to encourage and help him instead.

Does your husband handle finances wisely? Does he make good financial investments, based on biblical principles? Does he have a budget? Does he make wise decisions about purchases - checking many sources before he buys? Is he a good steward of his money before the Lord? Let him know how much you appreciate his strengths in financial matters.

If he is weak in this area, encourage any good decisions that he does make. Perhaps you can help him, if he's open to the idea, by organizing financial files or providing other practical assistance. Or, if he wants you to handle the finances, ask for his input before you make decisions that will affect him.

30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge for Wives‏: Day 6

Day Six:"...whatever ye do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Cor. 10:31b

Do you recognize and appreciate your husband's creativity? Or do you criticize and demean his efforts? Instead of negativity, determine to be positive. Perhaps you can help your husband see that his efforts are an opportunity to glorify God.

Is your husband the "creative" type? Does he have any artistic gifts? What is that special "knack" he has? Affirm him for his handiwork - a hobby, music, gardening, tinkering with cars, working with wood, etc. Remember: Even if he doesn't measure up to your standards, praise his efforts.

If your budget allows, buy him a book or magazine that will continue to encourage his special skill or talent. If you have a hard time finding his "creative side," understand that men's creativity sometimes is related to their work. Find something he does to make his job run more smoothly or something he does that adds value to his work...and let him know that you have noticed. Make his day...Praise his accomplishments in public, while he is listening.

What an encouragement to me in today's challenge! I was feeling bad for not being perfect about not saying anything negative and holding my tongue, because I slipped a few times these last couple days. But today's challenge reminds me how important words of affirmation are to my husband, since it's probably his primary love language. He loves hearing praise about his work and his brilliant ideas. He's so creative with the computer and creating presentations and graphics that are pleasing to the eye and professional and convey the message at hand. He's been working so hard on his presentation for a meeting that he's facilitating today in Cincinnati. Last night when I saw the final product, I was so impressed and wowed by his work. I told him how much his boss and the company will appreciate it and they'll be looking to him for more ingenius ideas and quality creations like that.

I praise God for my husband for the way he works so hard to strive for perfection. Even when 80% is good enough for everyone else, he won't settle for less. I think that's something that God placed in his heart, because he's always been that way. We've been praying for him to get enough rest for the drive and for alertness on the roads and in the meetings. And this morning, he woke up refreshed and rejuvinated and ready to go. God is good and He answers prayers. He can give us the strength when we are weak and the wisdom and guidance when we don't know which direction to go. All we have to do is ask with a humble heart and listen to His voice. I pray that I will humbly go to Christ with my prayers and requests with thanksgiving, instead of trying to do it on my own, and in my own way. May I relinquish total control to Him daily in everything.