Monday, June 23, 2008

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

I miss Amma. Her funeral was yesterday, Sunday, and my mom has been there in Taiwan for it. I miss my mom too. I haven't talked to her since last Wed. when she called me at 04:45 in the morning to tell me she arrived safely. I miss not being able to talk to her and see how she's doing.

I thought I was fine, all happy and joyful. But yesterday at church, I was just down, kind of depressed. Thinking about dying and how that would be so great to be in heaven with God and with Jesus. Then I think how it's not up to me when I die. When my time has come, then the Lord will bring me home. Until then, my purpose and plan on earth isn't completed yet. I tell Greg that and he reminds me how much Jonah needs his Mommy and how he needs his wife. I guess it's nice to be missed, and it's good that I miss Amma. I'm glad that the Bible tells us to mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice. I guess that's what funerals are for. So that we can mourn the loss of our loved ones and rejoice that the pain is gone and that we'll see them again one day.

It's really a beautiful day today and we enjoyed this weekend spending time outdoors as a family. I'm back to 100% now physically, and keeping up with Jonah. He's got so much energy! It's nice to feel rested and energized. I think I need to give myself a chance to really grieve and it may take a while to be okay. I think about my mom and wonder how she's coping with the loss of her mother. I would be so sad if my mother were gone. I have to let her grieve and share with me about her sadness and loss instead of trying to say things to make it all okay.

Thank You, Lord, that you comfort those who mourn and you bless them.

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